The world may be temporarily safe from the terrorist attacks of the Tall Whites, but only because the patriots have once again had to capitulate into an alliance with the Jesuit/rogue Vatican faction allied with the "dog" Sirians. You know, the fucking goddamned assholes who have made my life hell for years, since they want a girl doll avatar to mouthpiece fucking psuedo crap bullshit as dictated by the MACHINE.
So, of course, this has been really bad news for me, because they are controlling things right now---and I am one of their top "thing" priorities. I am writing this post practically first thing in the morning, because I am completely and utterly unable to read anything. I feel like I have been energetically lobotomized, which may not be far from the truth. When I woke up coughing this morning, I could tell all my inner organs had been moved around, and now my entire energy patterns are off.
They can lobotomize my energetic center, they can lobotomize my brain, but they can never lobotomize my spirit or soul, even if they are in control of the world, and that includes placing their puppet-boy, Barry, back in the seat of iconic power.
I am not capable of thinking things through, but still am going to off unsupported insights as long as I can write them. They may be wrong, but if I think that at least people need to start thinking on them, I will post them. Maybe someone else can finish a thought.
First of all, more thoughts on "Faction 3". They are an offshoot of Faction 2. I say that, because it was exactly 34 years from their milestone harvest of the parasitic spiders to their crowning achievement thus far--the execution of 9/11. That symbolized that the highest occult knowledge is no longer peaked at 33 degrees--but 34.
I think an amalgamated alliance has sprung up around this power base of the parasite spiders, but my INITIAL GUESS (which may be wrong) is that rogue elements of the Vatican/Jesuit/MACHINE-RA complex scooped the anaerobic poisonous spiders from the moon. They then made an alliance with China, because they had "no divisions" as Stalin would say. That is, they don't have the necessary infrastructure, associated with the nation-state, to propel and utilize the power weapon that they now had at their disposal. I may be wrong, and I am too sick to double check it, but the nation of Malta/Malta Knights entered into foreign relations with China in May of 1971. Henry Kissinger went to China in July or August--a few months later, and China was on its way to becoming a true superpower. What if all the ills that ail America's standing in the world--whether our loss of manufacturing jobs or trying to compete against the Chinese undervalued currency, all stem from the occult power threat posed by this alliance.
Now, what would be the basis of such an alliance? That is easy to formulate. China of course gets access to the great occult superweapon. The rogue Vatican/Jesuits get an understanding that after China becomes the world's great superpower, they will get first dibs at proselytizing that huge Chinese population. You see, the Vatican has lost their mind control power over Western humanity. Even the faithful see right through their pretentious claims , lies and hypocrisies, but China offers a vast new sea of opportunity--a population conditioned by literally centuries of totalitarian mind control--all it needs is a little spiritual twist, and once again, the spiritually sick, warped celibate brotherhood can bask in the glory of the "religious" power they so crave.
One thing for sure--the remnants of the old Third Reich in NASA lost a lot of power after this rogue "scoop". I specifically point to the career history of Werner von Braun, who clearly fell from grace in the 1970-1971 period. But never fear--I suspect that another branch of Nazis took over. There is one key player that I have identified with this Faction 3 contingent--astronaut Frank Borman, clearly a real hater, to anyone who can read faces in photographs. Apparently Borman is an Episcopalian, yet it is all over the web of how he took a medal of "Pope John XXIII" into orbit. I think that is probably a complete fabrication, but one to which Borman acquiesces, because it is this religious cult that controls the power, which is seared into his own "damned" brain.
Now, another player that I have identified as belonging to this group is James Clapper, who is Obama's national security adviser. I spotted him, because his lame ass (thankfully the patriots have effectively marginalized him over the years), started getting powerful press attention, once this most recent Obama coup started making noise.
There is an interesting similarity between Frank Borman and James Clapper. They share the same birth date--March 14th. Now, normally I would chalk this up to coincidence; however, as others have noted, so many of the human beings conceived on Mars, or manipulated by the Martian-controlled genetic engineering, share the exact same birthdate--January 17th. I haven't written on this, but it is a truth of which the patriots are well aware. As a matter of fact that is Obama's real birth date.
What if there is more than base on Mars that is engaged in genetic engineering? I think there are two, and perhaps three, distinct bases on Mars that are all tied into this occult conspiracy. You see, understanding the history of Mars is critical to understanding the occult forces and covert power struggles on Earth--it also may be crucial to saving our own planet from the tragic end that Mars experienced thousands of years ago. Unfortunately, there is no standard or comprehensive history on the civilization on Mars, so I am going to have to figure it out, piecemeal, bit by agonizing bit--a task complicated by the physical and mental suffering I endure. I do know that the same spiders that now reside on the moon were what drove the inhabitants there crazy---and those Martian inhabitants may have been refugees from multiple homeworlds themselves--on the run from a merciless, marauding advance of reptiles.
However, I find it interesting that both of these birth date signs--January 17th and March 14th--share the same astrological sign symbol--that of the goat. They also both share a rabid hatred of the Jews. Looking at the scriptural reference, there is the tradition of the "scapegoat", where the goat is driven out to perish for the sins of the community. Even more importantly is the story of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham was told to sacrifice his son by "God" (what if it were really, "god"--some reptilian overlord), and instead at the last minute, he was spared by the sight of a helpless mountain ram, which he then sacrificed, in place of his own child.
What if these stories refer back to some ancient, Martian (or perhaps even earlier), betrayal of these "goat sign" tribes committed by the original forebears of what is now the Jewish people? Is it possible that facing extinction from an overwhelming enemy, that these forebears instead, made an alliance with them, for which they earned bitter enmity from these "goat tribes"?
Now, this isn't so far-fetched as it seems. There are 12 astrological signs and 12 tribes of Israel. In the series, "Battlestar Galactica", there is an explicit identification between these 12 signs and their corresponding 12 planets, which are "on the run", from their MACHINE enemy. I wish that I knew a little more about astrology, so I could intuitively probe for more information between this connections between Capricorn and Aries, but unfortunately, I do not.
However, I do have intimate knowledge of spiritual reality, and I can say, without equivocation, that the rabid hatred demonstrated by these Capricorn/Aries Sirians, and their human followers, will be their own downfall--just as it was Hitler's. The only real question is whether their hatred will drag down all of humanity and planet Earth with it?
The above is just a very weak and tentative hypothesis. It is completely possible that the hatred of the Jews actually originates from a completely false understanding of history. For example, just think on how many Americans became vengeful towards Muslims following 9/11? I know, because I was still "in the world workplace" then, that a lot of people were falling into the trap of demonizing Muslims (kind of like the Jews "demonized" the scapegoat, and the Goat tribes now "demonize" the Jews). Fortunately, these individuals were a really tiny minority. But what if the leadership--both political and intellectual, started pushing the demonization further, instead of downplaying it? What if then, the aggression escalated on both sides, so that weapons of mass destruction were used by both sides? Imagine how long such a bitter enmity can last--for thousands of years, and to the final result of mutual self-destruction, perhaps?
This all goes back to Mars, and the absolute first step, is learning the truth, no matter what it is. However, there is no doubt in my mind that the only outcome that will ensure the future of humanity and this planet, is a reunifying amity of the various factions/tribes/races of humanity (oh, I forgot to mention the Black/White racial conflict goes back to Mars, too). That includes EVERYBODY, NO EXCEPTIONS. However, if forgiveness is necessary, it must be predicated on the truth. This is something that I will have to figure out for myself, because clearly, those aliens and humans, who are in possession of some of this hidden history, have had their understanding and vision skewed by hatred, and are untrustworthy witnesses. This will be hard in my current condition, but I will proceed a little at a time.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
I can feel the tension of the world tonight
I can feel the tension of the world tonight, even though the two biggest hot spots are Florida, especially Miami, and the Middle East, especially Israel. I guess that exposing the Apollo 18 mission, has really wracked the "Faction 3" that benefited most from it, and quite possibly everyone is concerned that they may act in force.
Of especially high risk is Miami, which actually is named after Maya-imi--the same Magi/Maya of ancient Babylon involved in this ancient factional conflict, and Israel. This faction desperately wants Israel destroyed. While I am aware of the high tension, and worry like every one else who is privy to what is really going on in the world, I don't have the deep sense of dread that I usually get, when something is about to happen, and consciously I am unaware. My ex-lover lives in southern Florida, and I think my intuition would be sending alarm bells if she were in danger. I always am worried about Israel, and while I don't have a deeply personal connection to the nation, I still regard it as the Holy Land, and think that I would feel a gnawing knot, if a scalar terrorist attack were imminent.
Having said this, I am fully prepared for anything. Tonight is definitely going to be a tempazapam night for me. In the military, benzodiazepenes are considered a "No go" pill, meaning the pilots/soldiers can relax into a good night's sleep; variants of speed or uppers are "go pills", meaning that they can't go to sleep, but must remain alert. I am sure that military personnel off the coast of Florida and all along the borders of Israel are in full "go" mode, but for me, a good night's sleep is my "go" mode.
There has been a lot happening in my personal life that I really need to address, but that will have to wait. Right now, I feel the need for information, so between now and my "go" pill, I am going to try to read as much as I can of Joseph Farrell's book, "The Giza Star Destroyed". I am so eager to search for the information that I am seeking in it, that I bought it on Kindle--which to me, an old-fashioned book lover, is odious heresy. However, I can't wait a couple of days to receive it through the mail--I need to dig in and read NOW. In the meantime, my thoughts, prayers and best wishes are for all those on "go" pills on the front lines, in whatever form and wherever that may be.
Of especially high risk is Miami, which actually is named after Maya-imi--the same Magi/Maya of ancient Babylon involved in this ancient factional conflict, and Israel. This faction desperately wants Israel destroyed. While I am aware of the high tension, and worry like every one else who is privy to what is really going on in the world, I don't have the deep sense of dread that I usually get, when something is about to happen, and consciously I am unaware. My ex-lover lives in southern Florida, and I think my intuition would be sending alarm bells if she were in danger. I always am worried about Israel, and while I don't have a deeply personal connection to the nation, I still regard it as the Holy Land, and think that I would feel a gnawing knot, if a scalar terrorist attack were imminent.
Having said this, I am fully prepared for anything. Tonight is definitely going to be a tempazapam night for me. In the military, benzodiazepenes are considered a "No go" pill, meaning the pilots/soldiers can relax into a good night's sleep; variants of speed or uppers are "go pills", meaning that they can't go to sleep, but must remain alert. I am sure that military personnel off the coast of Florida and all along the borders of Israel are in full "go" mode, but for me, a good night's sleep is my "go" mode.
There has been a lot happening in my personal life that I really need to address, but that will have to wait. Right now, I feel the need for information, so between now and my "go" pill, I am going to try to read as much as I can of Joseph Farrell's book, "The Giza Star Destroyed". I am so eager to search for the information that I am seeking in it, that I bought it on Kindle--which to me, an old-fashioned book lover, is odious heresy. However, I can't wait a couple of days to receive it through the mail--I need to dig in and read NOW. In the meantime, my thoughts, prayers and best wishes are for all those on "go" pills on the front lines, in whatever form and wherever that may be.
There was another Naples, Fl. KaBalist
There was another Naples, Fl. KaBalist that I wanted to identify in yesterday's post, when I ran out of steam. That man would be astronaut Michael Collins, who not only carries a pedigreed occult surname, but also the tell-tale photographic evidence of the Amon-RA virus from even his earliest photos. He referred to his own self as a "brown recluse spider" in an interview he recently gave. He was asked if he considered himself a recluse, and he responded, "like a brown recluse spider", which of course is a venomous species. Because I have seen the terrible abscesses caused by recluse brown spider bites, AND because the "Apollo 18" movie imagery depicting the parasitical brain implants as large "spiders", corroborates other likewise evidence I have uncovered, I find this spider self-reference to be chillingly sinister.
Now, I think NASA was infiltrated by rogue Nazis from its very beginning, and despite the fact that many good and honest men and women have served in its ranks, I think all of NASA operations and high ranking personnel merit scrutiny. I have some ideas on that, but no time to really pursue thoughts on that matter, but I did want to mention another speculative possibility that occurred to me, while briefly reading of Apollo 11's mission.
As I have stated, the televised landing on the moon was completely bogus. It was filmed under the direction of Stanley Kubrick, at the behest of his KaBal patrons, who later murdered him "by natural causes". They were unhappy with his movie "Eyes Wide Shut" that detailed the grossly corrupt immorality of the power underworld. So, have we been to the moon? Oh yes, many times--I would bet that Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man of the 20th century to walk on the moon--though it did make for good theater. Where then, did the astronauts--or ANY Terran land on the moon? I think the answer is that nearly all moon missions landed at the long-established, reptilian/Nazi bases, where they were sequestered from the dangerous surface of the moon. What is so dangerous about the surface of the moon? Why, the spiders of course. Remember, in the movie, how they were able to get inside the unfortunate astronaut's space suit--the highest technology possible, and drive him insane within days--but not before he started developed abscess in his body. I have seen such abscesses before--yep, brown recluse spiders.
So, here is my wildly speculative hypothesis, on which others with access to classified information can nibble. I think all the missions to the moon landed safely on reptilian bases (what the true story is re: Apollo 13, I don't know--good movie, though). All except one mission--which was actually, but secretly, commanded to land on the surface of the moon--Apollo 18. Why?
Well, first let me begin by answering the question, "when?". Specifically, I ask myself that question about the NASA surveyor missions. The Surveyor 5 landed in the sea of Tranquility less than two months after the Apollo 11 Eagle lunar module, was supposed to have set down just a short distance away. The exact date was SEPTEMBER 11, 1967. The surveyors were unmanned probes that were supposed to conduct scientific missions, and transmit data, via telemetry, back to Earth. I think all the trips/missions to the moon were primarily for the purpose of establishing a treaty of alliance with the reptilians, there, so that they would give us access to the extremely rare (on Earth), spiders that have been used to control highly placed leaders for centuries. I think the September 11th touchdown of the probe, actually harvested some of the moon rocks with the anaerobic parasites on them, so that they could give an emergent new faction on Earth, the power to compete with the two main rival factions who had held dominating sway over the planet for milennia. Now, I have a pretty good idea of how those factions identify, but I want to think on this a little more before presenting it. For now, I just want to ask, "why was Apollo 18 ordered secretly to the surface, when it was known to be so dangerous?"
I think the answer is relayed in the movie. I think that the Soviets had either the intrepid gall or monumental stupidity (remember, this was in the communist days), to land a cosmonaut on the sea where the malevolent life forms flourished. Well, I think that sent the DOD, in the throes of the Cold War, into a tizzy. What if the Soviets had found a way to harvest the anaerobic parasites safely, without sucking up to the reptilians who owned the place? What if they had some kind of new technology that rendered the deadly spiders harmless? If so, that would dramatically shift the balance of power at the highest echelons of power, because the occult KaBal who had access to this secret power, would be dethroned. The DOD/NASA had to know, so the completely secret mission of Apollo 18 was ordered to the moon.
Of course, the cosmonaut was not immune, and neither were the American astronauts--they ended up infected and dead--maybe. According to official biographies, they were all killed "by natural causes" within a short time of the mission. However, maybe they just slowly went insane in some secret hospital. Hard to say, but I know the fact that those spiders were harvested on September 11th, marked a significant milestone in occult history. I also know that three lunar craters on that sea were named after the Apollo 11 astronauts. According to the movie, the spiders live within the craters. I think those anaerobic killer parasites once flourished on Earth, millions, if not billions of years ago. I think they may still be alive within the molten magma of the Earth, and under the polar ice caps. I think a more benevolent, but still highly toxic form resides in the petrochemicals, the black oil, of the Earth, which is why we desperately need to quit putting that poison in our air. I am not a Luddite. I believe that technology for alternative energy has been around--though choked off at the source--for quite a while. Nor will alternative energy destroy those economies which depend on it. I think it still will be likely to utilize petrochemicals for a huge variety of products and applications that do not release the component molecules into the air.
Anyway, that is my wild conspiracy theory for the day. Now, back to Earth, and Gainesville, Florida. One factor that I did not know yesterday, was the intensity of the fires that struck the vehicles--particularly a tractor/trailer rig that was left a skeletal frame. Car accidents do not cause that--some kind of scalar (energy) weapon was used--fired no doubt from the UFO that I did speculate was involved. I am confident that our own military and homeland experts have been able to identify the weapons signature. They have seen it before--in Afghanistan. It is the Tall Whites or Amalekites that have directly attacked us on our soil, whether directly or by passing on the advanced, super-secret technology to their human minions. No doubt, this is why Hillary Clinton and the other leaders of the world are redoubling their efforts to resolve the crisis in Syria. Now that Pakistan has moved to empower patriots in their leadership, Assad is the last major leader who remains a loyal and eager vassal to this alien liege, and as long as they can find refuge, they will terrorize the innocents of the Earth. Of course, Assad is clearly a Tall White himself--not only by his breeding (notice how much taller he is than everyone else in his family?), but by religious identification, and of course, the tell-tale implants. Unfortunately, Syria is on the verge of collapse into civil war, and no doubt, that is why the major powers have refrained from active intervention. But, as the Gainesville attack proved--it is not enough that the Syrian people suffer--the Amalekites want to export the suffering, now. It is a delicate situation, and I am glad that there finally are some genuine leaders on the world scene to address it.
PS--one last little detail I forgot to mention re: the Surveyor landing probes. NASA has extensive PDF's on the data collected by those probes. I attempted to download them, using two separate browsers. Both times, I got nothing back but corrupted garble. NASA is too high-tech of an organization to have that kind of problem. I am sure that the PDF's are full of lies, anyway, but still, I think they want to doctor them a little bit further, before allowing for public viewing.
Now, I think NASA was infiltrated by rogue Nazis from its very beginning, and despite the fact that many good and honest men and women have served in its ranks, I think all of NASA operations and high ranking personnel merit scrutiny. I have some ideas on that, but no time to really pursue thoughts on that matter, but I did want to mention another speculative possibility that occurred to me, while briefly reading of Apollo 11's mission.
As I have stated, the televised landing on the moon was completely bogus. It was filmed under the direction of Stanley Kubrick, at the behest of his KaBal patrons, who later murdered him "by natural causes". They were unhappy with his movie "Eyes Wide Shut" that detailed the grossly corrupt immorality of the power underworld. So, have we been to the moon? Oh yes, many times--I would bet that Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man of the 20th century to walk on the moon--though it did make for good theater. Where then, did the astronauts--or ANY Terran land on the moon? I think the answer is that nearly all moon missions landed at the long-established, reptilian/Nazi bases, where they were sequestered from the dangerous surface of the moon. What is so dangerous about the surface of the moon? Why, the spiders of course. Remember, in the movie, how they were able to get inside the unfortunate astronaut's space suit--the highest technology possible, and drive him insane within days--but not before he started developed abscess in his body. I have seen such abscesses before--yep, brown recluse spiders.
So, here is my wildly speculative hypothesis, on which others with access to classified information can nibble. I think all the missions to the moon landed safely on reptilian bases (what the true story is re: Apollo 13, I don't know--good movie, though). All except one mission--which was actually, but secretly, commanded to land on the surface of the moon--Apollo 18. Why?
Well, first let me begin by answering the question, "when?". Specifically, I ask myself that question about the NASA surveyor missions. The Surveyor 5 landed in the sea of Tranquility less than two months after the Apollo 11 Eagle lunar module, was supposed to have set down just a short distance away. The exact date was SEPTEMBER 11, 1967. The surveyors were unmanned probes that were supposed to conduct scientific missions, and transmit data, via telemetry, back to Earth. I think all the trips/missions to the moon were primarily for the purpose of establishing a treaty of alliance with the reptilians, there, so that they would give us access to the extremely rare (on Earth), spiders that have been used to control highly placed leaders for centuries. I think the September 11th touchdown of the probe, actually harvested some of the moon rocks with the anaerobic parasites on them, so that they could give an emergent new faction on Earth, the power to compete with the two main rival factions who had held dominating sway over the planet for milennia. Now, I have a pretty good idea of how those factions identify, but I want to think on this a little more before presenting it. For now, I just want to ask, "why was Apollo 18 ordered secretly to the surface, when it was known to be so dangerous?"
I think the answer is relayed in the movie. I think that the Soviets had either the intrepid gall or monumental stupidity (remember, this was in the communist days), to land a cosmonaut on the sea where the malevolent life forms flourished. Well, I think that sent the DOD, in the throes of the Cold War, into a tizzy. What if the Soviets had found a way to harvest the anaerobic parasites safely, without sucking up to the reptilians who owned the place? What if they had some kind of new technology that rendered the deadly spiders harmless? If so, that would dramatically shift the balance of power at the highest echelons of power, because the occult KaBal who had access to this secret power, would be dethroned. The DOD/NASA had to know, so the completely secret mission of Apollo 18 was ordered to the moon.
Of course, the cosmonaut was not immune, and neither were the American astronauts--they ended up infected and dead--maybe. According to official biographies, they were all killed "by natural causes" within a short time of the mission. However, maybe they just slowly went insane in some secret hospital. Hard to say, but I know the fact that those spiders were harvested on September 11th, marked a significant milestone in occult history. I also know that three lunar craters on that sea were named after the Apollo 11 astronauts. According to the movie, the spiders live within the craters. I think those anaerobic killer parasites once flourished on Earth, millions, if not billions of years ago. I think they may still be alive within the molten magma of the Earth, and under the polar ice caps. I think a more benevolent, but still highly toxic form resides in the petrochemicals, the black oil, of the Earth, which is why we desperately need to quit putting that poison in our air. I am not a Luddite. I believe that technology for alternative energy has been around--though choked off at the source--for quite a while. Nor will alternative energy destroy those economies which depend on it. I think it still will be likely to utilize petrochemicals for a huge variety of products and applications that do not release the component molecules into the air.
Anyway, that is my wild conspiracy theory for the day. Now, back to Earth, and Gainesville, Florida. One factor that I did not know yesterday, was the intensity of the fires that struck the vehicles--particularly a tractor/trailer rig that was left a skeletal frame. Car accidents do not cause that--some kind of scalar (energy) weapon was used--fired no doubt from the UFO that I did speculate was involved. I am confident that our own military and homeland experts have been able to identify the weapons signature. They have seen it before--in Afghanistan. It is the Tall Whites or Amalekites that have directly attacked us on our soil, whether directly or by passing on the advanced, super-secret technology to their human minions. No doubt, this is why Hillary Clinton and the other leaders of the world are redoubling their efforts to resolve the crisis in Syria. Now that Pakistan has moved to empower patriots in their leadership, Assad is the last major leader who remains a loyal and eager vassal to this alien liege, and as long as they can find refuge, they will terrorize the innocents of the Earth. Of course, Assad is clearly a Tall White himself--not only by his breeding (notice how much taller he is than everyone else in his family?), but by religious identification, and of course, the tell-tale implants. Unfortunately, Syria is on the verge of collapse into civil war, and no doubt, that is why the major powers have refrained from active intervention. But, as the Gainesville attack proved--it is not enough that the Syrian people suffer--the Amalekites want to export the suffering, now. It is a delicate situation, and I am glad that there finally are some genuine leaders on the world scene to address it.
PS--one last little detail I forgot to mention re: the Surveyor landing probes. NASA has extensive PDF's on the data collected by those probes. I attempted to download them, using two separate browsers. Both times, I got nothing back but corrupted garble. NASA is too high-tech of an organization to have that kind of problem. I am sure that the PDF's are full of lies, anyway, but still, I think they want to doctor them a little bit further, before allowing for public viewing.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I spent all day thinking on the incredible, convoluted,
I spent all day thinking on the incredible, convoluted,involved dream I had last night. I think I finally got a decent grasp of it, but I am too drugged to write abuot it. I am too drugged to write about anything. Once again, I am barely functional. THe recent sacral restoration of my lower back was reversed, and once more I am struggling to get it thru even most mundane of tasks. So fucked up i can barely walk. couldnt even sit in pahrmacy for thirty minutes. too fucked up. last night i was going out of my mind with speed; now i am going out of my m9ind with semi-psychosis. i expect it will get worse. got plenty of dvicodi n (need headache meds), so i am going to go watch tv, til i fall asleep, cannot stand my body or mind in this condition. . interesting--only went thru a third of a bodttle of testosterone last month. because i felt better. proud of myself, because they are very expensive, and was going to try to skip a purchase this month. cant see how that will be possible with my sacral energy reversed and stymied. i need ten t-tabs right now, just to be able to open my eyes, read internet. totally fucked up.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I never know what kind of drug I am going to be
I never know what kind of drug I am going to be on when I wake up. Today, I have spent most of the day feeling that I am on "speed". Everything is sped up, and I am hyperactive in my mind. In short, I am back to where I was in the early days of the alien interference, before the implants. I tell myself to try to work to get back to a quiet and peaceful mind in a natural way, which is how I lived the early years of my adulthood. I tell myself that I am healthy enough to try to get back into a discipline--spiritual, physical, mental, and no sooner do I resolve to do so, that I get whammied by a huge viral download. That is what happened this afternoon, and it hit me so strongly that I could not get up, or even open my eyes (because I was too autistic). Instead, I was in some kind of semi-conscious state, that felt more natural, and less frighteningly psychotic than the wipeout I experience when my system is desperately short of testosterone, but it still is not a healthy experience. As I write this, I keep rocking back and forth (too much hyper energy that I no longer am healthy enough to act out physically), and my eyes hurt from all the stimuli, but I am functioning. However, I will say it again (as I have said many times before). If I am to ever astral travel, it needs to happen with my cooperation as a free human being who knows what is happening to me, and can help direct the process. Force feeding me all kinds of drug and hormone combos won't work, because of the idiosyncratic nature of my autistic brain. I recognized the peace that I experienced a couple of days ago, when I was given lithium--before it fried my brain. That peace was a peace I attained through my own self discipline and effort as a young woman, via meditation. I have a naturally hyper and obsessive-compulsive mind, but I brought it under control before, and I could do it again, if I were just allowed to cooperate with the process, instead of being treated as a lab rat. I LIKE the meditative state of mind. I miss it. However, I also am comfortable with a hyperactive, compulsive mind--it is the impetus for a lot of my creative insights. The two are not necessarily contradictory or clashing, but it is a balancing act, and my rational, mature ego holds the balancing pole, as I walk the tightrope between peace and order, chaos and creativity. I have done it before, and I can do it again, but not in the state I am in now, when I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel upon awakening.
Sooner or later, I am going to be shut down by what I sense to be an encroaching Internet shutdown. Today, the Sorcha Faal site, revealed that it had shut down all of its archives--I lost access to a lot of good stuff there--BECAUSE I KNEW HOW TO READ AND INTERPRET IT. I am not a human computer. Oftentimes I will remember something, but I can't recall precisely what is important--then I go searching through the worldwide web--which to me is nothing but a huge library. I fear that increasing amounts of data are going to be lost to my access as 2012 unfolds--for even though, I would like to believe that the incredible roller coaster ride of the last two years is at an end, I think the high drama of the "occult" (hidden) cosmos is still looking to steamroll over planet Earth into a new stone age. I can get around the restricted Sorcha Faal files, but if data blocks keep disappearing, I am going to become increasingly handicapped in my ability to understand and interpret "the signs of the times".
Sooner or later, I am going to be shut down by what I sense to be an encroaching Internet shutdown. Today, the Sorcha Faal site, revealed that it had shut down all of its archives--I lost access to a lot of good stuff there--BECAUSE I KNEW HOW TO READ AND INTERPRET IT. I am not a human computer. Oftentimes I will remember something, but I can't recall precisely what is important--then I go searching through the worldwide web--which to me is nothing but a huge library. I fear that increasing amounts of data are going to be lost to my access as 2012 unfolds--for even though, I would like to believe that the incredible roller coaster ride of the last two years is at an end, I think the high drama of the "occult" (hidden) cosmos is still looking to steamroll over planet Earth into a new stone age. I can get around the restricted Sorcha Faal files, but if data blocks keep disappearing, I am going to become increasingly handicapped in my ability to understand and interpret "the signs of the times".
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Nothing like necessity to get the juices flowing
Nothing like necessity to get the juices flowing--already I feel more alive. I cannot be sure, but a brief view of cable news has put me on alert regarding the Washington monument and the state of Wyoming.
I am certain that those Washington monument workers were rigorously scrutinized and vetted. However, remember that in Dan Brown's novel, the big "key code" was hidden in the Washington monument. The freemasons have been tuned into the occult for a long time. George Washington set up a lighthouse (an obelisk shape) on the infamous Montaulk proprty, which, surprise, surprise, turned out to be prime real estate for a time portal. In other words, he knew. How? I think an alien (s), along the lines of a "St. Germaine" from another dimension probably helped some of the founders of the American revolution in their desire to create a "new world". What if this code key is a beacon that transmits to outer space--the Ursa Major or Ursa Minor constellation. Even if the PLT is confident the Washington monument is clean, I hope that they have got a Plan B for standby--something that would act as a force field around the monument. If that old Montaukk lighthouse is still standing, I would recommend that it be investigated for possible anomalies as well. Finally, Lady Liberty is another Freemason construct--not an obelisk, but rather an Isis figure projecting tall into the sky.
Hopefully that would be checked as well. REMEMBER, the Washington monument is a tall pyramid, and in occult lore, the pyramids can blow open and act as a travelling conduit through space.
The other item that I saw on the news that sent off intuitive alarms was the WH map mixup between CO and WY. While the PLT and the loyal military have been busy blowing up underground tunnels and survivalist installations, I think they might have missed one in WY. While the NASA bigwigs are in Denver, the really big and evil fish are hiding in a hole, one state up. I would suspect the ritzy titzy ranch that is in the Northwest corner of the state in Yellowstone, or for that matter, any property that has ever passed under the title of Dick Cheney or anyone in his family. I believe that some of the recovering Monarch sex slaves have written of an Illuminati ranch in WY. Also, keep an eye out on "Old Faithful". If there are major planetary stresses and volcanoes erupting, Old Faithful is vulnerable, too, and as a matter of fact has been recording an unusual number of small earthquakes within the last year or two, if memory serves.
This is what was hanging over my head--now that it is out, I still feel lousy--drugged and headachy, but I no longer feel dammed up with something that needed to be released. Hope it helps.
I am certain that those Washington monument workers were rigorously scrutinized and vetted. However, remember that in Dan Brown's novel, the big "key code" was hidden in the Washington monument. The freemasons have been tuned into the occult for a long time. George Washington set up a lighthouse (an obelisk shape) on the infamous Montaulk proprty, which, surprise, surprise, turned out to be prime real estate for a time portal. In other words, he knew. How? I think an alien (s), along the lines of a "St. Germaine" from another dimension probably helped some of the founders of the American revolution in their desire to create a "new world". What if this code key is a beacon that transmits to outer space--the Ursa Major or Ursa Minor constellation. Even if the PLT is confident the Washington monument is clean, I hope that they have got a Plan B for standby--something that would act as a force field around the monument. If that old Montaukk lighthouse is still standing, I would recommend that it be investigated for possible anomalies as well. Finally, Lady Liberty is another Freemason construct--not an obelisk, but rather an Isis figure projecting tall into the sky.
Hopefully that would be checked as well. REMEMBER, the Washington monument is a tall pyramid, and in occult lore, the pyramids can blow open and act as a travelling conduit through space.
The other item that I saw on the news that sent off intuitive alarms was the WH map mixup between CO and WY. While the PLT and the loyal military have been busy blowing up underground tunnels and survivalist installations, I think they might have missed one in WY. While the NASA bigwigs are in Denver, the really big and evil fish are hiding in a hole, one state up. I would suspect the ritzy titzy ranch that is in the Northwest corner of the state in Yellowstone, or for that matter, any property that has ever passed under the title of Dick Cheney or anyone in his family. I believe that some of the recovering Monarch sex slaves have written of an Illuminati ranch in WY. Also, keep an eye out on "Old Faithful". If there are major planetary stresses and volcanoes erupting, Old Faithful is vulnerable, too, and as a matter of fact has been recording an unusual number of small earthquakes within the last year or two, if memory serves.
This is what was hanging over my head--now that it is out, I still feel lousy--drugged and headachy, but I no longer feel dammed up with something that needed to be released. Hope it helps.
I had no interesting dreams last night
I had no interesting dreams last night, probably because I was drugged on Depakote. I remember dreaming something about the Congo (which I assume to be the Black community), but the drugs interfere with my ability to remember or recall anything. I just know that for the second day in a row, I woke up groaning. That is a common tell-tale sign of Depakote, or some similar psychotropic drug that I have been force fed multiple times. I think that I actually was on lithium, yesterday as well. Upon waking this morning, and looking on pictures that I could not, for the life, of me, "interpret" conclusively, this morning, I could identify the markers I look for with ease. This confirmed what I already was suspecting last night. The drug (lithium), that had been forced on me, was seriously impacting my intuitive faculty. It also was impacting my drive, energy, and attitude, and my guess is that today, the negative symptomology would be even worse, except that I am not on lithium. Instead, I am on some drug that totally drains my energy, and makes me just want to lie down and sleep--almost feels like a sedative or low marijuana kind of high.
Anyway, last night, the lithium did what it always does--caused the brain rushes and bio-electrical energy jolts, that make it impossible to sleep. It also caused the intense anger that accompany lithium in my system. If they had left it in long enough, I would start experiencing mood swings. This angry and frustrated mindset is important, because I think I was abducted last night, to gauge whether my unconscious is following my conscious in the desire to be accepted by the Black community. Judging from all the White men I encountered on my bike ride (and the dearth of Black faces) , and the crippled woman parked across my open door all morning, I would assume "no".
I am certain that the drugging I endure has a big impact on this contrary attitude. Intellectually, I understand and accept becoming a Black man. Rationally, it makes sense from an intuitive perspective. I could present my case, but for me, it is not necessary--I already understand and accept it. For all the racists or negative occultists, it won't make a difference--they only see me as fitting into their agenda--most especially as some "Isis" kind of figure that holds sway in their imagination, but has no power in reality. However, emotionally, or unconsciously, there apparently still is resistance, and I am not sure precisely what is the cause of that, except to say that I honor and respect it. Something still has to be worked through and out. I am not certain that it is my reluctance to enter a BLACK community, as it is a reluctance to enter a Black COMMUNITY. I just have long standing socialization issues, arising from my autistic difficulties as a youth, and all the negativity, control, and rejection that I have experienced, even to this day--including a felt sense of betrayal and abandonment by the Black psychics. I don't hold grudges, although I can completely close off, and it really takes a lot for me to completely close off--like firing me from work, interfering with my relationships, throwing me in jail for six months, and into a psychiatric institution for six months, so that I will be a "nun". I am completely closed off to that future, or any that involves religious celibacy. I am completely closed off to being a crippled female, or any kind of Isis anima figure. I am not yet closed off to being an integral part of the Black community, because, while I felt violated by the initial psychic intrusion, I pushed back as good as I got, and I consider their most egregious fault, that of not approaching me over a year ago, to tell me that I was in immediate and explicit danger and offer sanctuary, to be a "sin" of omission, rather than a "sin" of commission. Yes, they did it, because they were uncomfortable with my strong female and lesbian being, but the bottom line is that it was their choice to make, and not an infringement upon my choice (we could get deep into a discussion about prejudices and "isms", etc, but I find that counterproductive). The bottom line is that (as those who are Catholic or theologically inclined know), there is a tremendous difference between a sin of omission and a sin of commission. So, while regrettable, there is no grudge. I am more upset that they did not support me, while my musculature was being all cut out, while I was risking my neck to support them in astral battles. Again, though, if I were to hold a grudge, it would be against Salusa, who I believe was primarily responsible, but I think I know why Salusa did it, and so I cannot hold a deep grudge there, either. Yes, I got angry about it; I deserved to get angry about it. However, for me, anger is a freeing emotion. I let it rip, and it releases all the negative energy. I am very Hispanic and Scotch Irish in that way. To be honest, I think many in the Black community experience anger as a negative emotion that does not release and free the pain, but one that shackles and drags down into a cesspool of resentment and bitterness. So, maybe they fear my anger--too bad, my anger is what enables me to live and experience honestly, and then forgive and move on. So I have.
So, again, what is holding me back? I don't know. Such a radical change probably takes a while. I could wish that I could get acceptance into a community as I am, but I think they fear that I would become comfortable without the radical transformation into the person they have been waiting for, ever since they gained access to occult knowledge--the promise of a Black leader. They probably are correct in their assumption, because my life has been so difficult that I have learned to thrive in whatever environment in which I am put, nearly always after a rocky, initial adjustment. As a matter of fact, now that my energy levels are higher (almost certainly because they did something to the nerves in my sacrum), I feel a lot better, even in this mutilated body that still doesn't work right. I can't help myself--I am by nature, a happy person. Still, my arms don't work right, and these Nazi boobs drive me crazy, and I hate the feeling I get when the estrogen is forced on me--not to mention that I still go bumping into walls, from lack of energy, so I still scream for the return of my strong, healthy body. I know that I am going to get it back--whether as a Black man (that is what I would bet on), or as an intersexed, lesbian woman, I don't know.
I guess that some of the White occultists (who? what alliance?), now recognize that I am masculine, and may be angling for my participation in their alliance, and I do not hate or disown my White or Hispanic heritage, but the truth is that the Black people of the world need a strong leader and hero, while the Whites and Hispanics will do just fine without one. They have had plenty of them over the centuries, who left strong, and longstanding cultural and spiritual roots and value systems to guide them. It is not that there have not been good Black candidates for transformative leaders, but the two most promising Black leaders of the last century, Dr. King and Malcolm X, were assassinated, while the latter was milked for his semen in his sleep, so that the White occultists could try to control the future Black leader. So, it is the deep Christian in me, that remembers the words of Jesus, and how he prayed for the people, "for they were sheep without a shepherd".
Of course, Jesus learned that while they yearned for a strong leader, these leaderless Israel patriots also wanted to control their shepherd--the desire of the spiritually immature and psychologically weak everywhere, and so, he ended up on the cross, dying a martyr. I do not feel called to martyrdom--if I did, I would be the crippled female saint, or for that matter, would have languished in an unfulfilling life as a nun. No, I feel better when I am exercising my gifts, even if they seem to flourish undercover, as do the writings on this blog. I continue to hope that the martydom that I am enduring now--the enforced isolation and loneliness, will someday be at end. I hope so, but no matter what, I will be true to my imperative as a Christian disciple--and that means, for me, that I will strive to be both psychologically and spiritually strong (no matter whether I am female or male; Black or White), and I will aim for continual conversion to be a better person in accord with the will of God. I think I know the what the will of God is--I just have to drag this reluctant flesh across the finish line, but no matter what, I will finish strong and free, and if I celebrate the end of my race alone, so be it--people will know how a strong and free human being lives their life, no matter the challenges or adversity. In the meantime, I just look to be strong and free today--it is hard, when I am so damned drugged--but at least, I am functioning, so praised be to God for that...
Anyway, last night, the lithium did what it always does--caused the brain rushes and bio-electrical energy jolts, that make it impossible to sleep. It also caused the intense anger that accompany lithium in my system. If they had left it in long enough, I would start experiencing mood swings. This angry and frustrated mindset is important, because I think I was abducted last night, to gauge whether my unconscious is following my conscious in the desire to be accepted by the Black community. Judging from all the White men I encountered on my bike ride (and the dearth of Black faces) , and the crippled woman parked across my open door all morning, I would assume "no".
I am certain that the drugging I endure has a big impact on this contrary attitude. Intellectually, I understand and accept becoming a Black man. Rationally, it makes sense from an intuitive perspective. I could present my case, but for me, it is not necessary--I already understand and accept it. For all the racists or negative occultists, it won't make a difference--they only see me as fitting into their agenda--most especially as some "Isis" kind of figure that holds sway in their imagination, but has no power in reality. However, emotionally, or unconsciously, there apparently still is resistance, and I am not sure precisely what is the cause of that, except to say that I honor and respect it. Something still has to be worked through and out. I am not certain that it is my reluctance to enter a BLACK community, as it is a reluctance to enter a Black COMMUNITY. I just have long standing socialization issues, arising from my autistic difficulties as a youth, and all the negativity, control, and rejection that I have experienced, even to this day--including a felt sense of betrayal and abandonment by the Black psychics. I don't hold grudges, although I can completely close off, and it really takes a lot for me to completely close off--like firing me from work, interfering with my relationships, throwing me in jail for six months, and into a psychiatric institution for six months, so that I will be a "nun". I am completely closed off to that future, or any that involves religious celibacy. I am completely closed off to being a crippled female, or any kind of Isis anima figure. I am not yet closed off to being an integral part of the Black community, because, while I felt violated by the initial psychic intrusion, I pushed back as good as I got, and I consider their most egregious fault, that of not approaching me over a year ago, to tell me that I was in immediate and explicit danger and offer sanctuary, to be a "sin" of omission, rather than a "sin" of commission. Yes, they did it, because they were uncomfortable with my strong female and lesbian being, but the bottom line is that it was their choice to make, and not an infringement upon my choice (we could get deep into a discussion about prejudices and "isms", etc, but I find that counterproductive). The bottom line is that (as those who are Catholic or theologically inclined know), there is a tremendous difference between a sin of omission and a sin of commission. So, while regrettable, there is no grudge. I am more upset that they did not support me, while my musculature was being all cut out, while I was risking my neck to support them in astral battles. Again, though, if I were to hold a grudge, it would be against Salusa, who I believe was primarily responsible, but I think I know why Salusa did it, and so I cannot hold a deep grudge there, either. Yes, I got angry about it; I deserved to get angry about it. However, for me, anger is a freeing emotion. I let it rip, and it releases all the negative energy. I am very Hispanic and Scotch Irish in that way. To be honest, I think many in the Black community experience anger as a negative emotion that does not release and free the pain, but one that shackles and drags down into a cesspool of resentment and bitterness. So, maybe they fear my anger--too bad, my anger is what enables me to live and experience honestly, and then forgive and move on. So I have.
So, again, what is holding me back? I don't know. Such a radical change probably takes a while. I could wish that I could get acceptance into a community as I am, but I think they fear that I would become comfortable without the radical transformation into the person they have been waiting for, ever since they gained access to occult knowledge--the promise of a Black leader. They probably are correct in their assumption, because my life has been so difficult that I have learned to thrive in whatever environment in which I am put, nearly always after a rocky, initial adjustment. As a matter of fact, now that my energy levels are higher (almost certainly because they did something to the nerves in my sacrum), I feel a lot better, even in this mutilated body that still doesn't work right. I can't help myself--I am by nature, a happy person. Still, my arms don't work right, and these Nazi boobs drive me crazy, and I hate the feeling I get when the estrogen is forced on me--not to mention that I still go bumping into walls, from lack of energy, so I still scream for the return of my strong, healthy body. I know that I am going to get it back--whether as a Black man (that is what I would bet on), or as an intersexed, lesbian woman, I don't know.
I guess that some of the White occultists (who? what alliance?), now recognize that I am masculine, and may be angling for my participation in their alliance, and I do not hate or disown my White or Hispanic heritage, but the truth is that the Black people of the world need a strong leader and hero, while the Whites and Hispanics will do just fine without one. They have had plenty of them over the centuries, who left strong, and longstanding cultural and spiritual roots and value systems to guide them. It is not that there have not been good Black candidates for transformative leaders, but the two most promising Black leaders of the last century, Dr. King and Malcolm X, were assassinated, while the latter was milked for his semen in his sleep, so that the White occultists could try to control the future Black leader. So, it is the deep Christian in me, that remembers the words of Jesus, and how he prayed for the people, "for they were sheep without a shepherd".
Of course, Jesus learned that while they yearned for a strong leader, these leaderless Israel patriots also wanted to control their shepherd--the desire of the spiritually immature and psychologically weak everywhere, and so, he ended up on the cross, dying a martyr. I do not feel called to martyrdom--if I did, I would be the crippled female saint, or for that matter, would have languished in an unfulfilling life as a nun. No, I feel better when I am exercising my gifts, even if they seem to flourish undercover, as do the writings on this blog. I continue to hope that the martydom that I am enduring now--the enforced isolation and loneliness, will someday be at end. I hope so, but no matter what, I will be true to my imperative as a Christian disciple--and that means, for me, that I will strive to be both psychologically and spiritually strong (no matter whether I am female or male; Black or White), and I will aim for continual conversion to be a better person in accord with the will of God. I think I know the what the will of God is--I just have to drag this reluctant flesh across the finish line, but no matter what, I will finish strong and free, and if I celebrate the end of my race alone, so be it--people will know how a strong and free human being lives their life, no matter the challenges or adversity. In the meantime, I just look to be strong and free today--it is hard, when I am so damned drugged--but at least, I am functioning, so praised be to God for that...
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